This is not a rant. It’s a list of the pros and cons of being the youngest person in your family. Like I am. And I’m not the youngest in my little nuclear family thingy, I’m the youngest in my entire clan. Except for my niece who’s 2. But she doesn’t count because I’ve seen her twice and she’s a brat anyway. Onwards!!
(WordPress is telling me that “ONWARDS” is a wrong word and that is pissing me off. It’s one of the best words out there. Get your shit together WordPress!)
Okay, so, being a naturally positive person (a ray of sunshine, I tell you), I will start with the pros. NOT because this is going to be shorter than the cons and I want to get it over with. Okay then,
1) You get away with a lot of things because for some reason people think you’re cute.
Kinda obvious, but doesn’t always work so I’m just putting it out there first and moving on.
2) You get a lot of stuff without asking.
It’s usually second hand, but we have an entire cons list to get to for that.
3) You get the undivided attention of your family because there is no squealing little bundle of poop joy there to take the attention away.
Not sure if it’s a pro, it wasn’t one for me, but I guess some people might like it.
4) Most of the weird stuff, your elders have probably prepared your parents for it.
It worked for me. Now I can sit in my living room and watch Game Of Thrones uncensored on my T.V. without anyone saying anything. Except for my dad coming in randomly and yelling that I was watching porn that one day….But we’ve sorted that out. 🙂
5) You get a bit more of the whole
“Aww!! Look at that little thing!! How can it ever do anything wrong?”
aura around you so you get away with blaming some things that you did on other people (I’m not talking about stuff you did on other people, but I don’t see a way to rephrase that sentence right now so it stays.).
My mom had a beautiful (apparently) center piece. Had. For nearly a day. It still exists, in a thousand pieces somewhere. My dog broke it. Seriously. Ask anyone. Except for my dog. He has a bad habit of lying about some things….anyway…
Enough talking about good things now…
CONS!!! I am more excited than I should be.
1) You can’t get away with a lot of stuff because your siblings know what shit you’re pulling on them. And are more than happy to rat you out. Assholes.
“No I didn’t skip school to hang out with friends. And that’s not beer breath!”
“I was asleep at 11 last night. My whatsapp’s glitchy about the last seen”
“Um… The internet history’s glitchy so it deletes itself every couple of days?? No? Wanna hear about a new website maybe?”
So stuff doesn’t work.
2) Most of your things are hand me downs that you didn’t really want in the first place.
My sister (Who, it looks like, will be featured a lot in this place), got a new phone. Good for her!! She didn’t like it, so she got a new one. I wanted a new one. Guess what, I got my sister’s old phone. It’s a good phone, but I don’t like it. Every time I complain about it, I get yelled at because apparently, getting a new phone for me will be a waste of money. I could chew through a concrete wall.
Also, I got my sister’s old car. It’s in really good condition coz she loves that stupid thing to death, but she’s getting a bigger one. Who cares if I con’t drive for shit’s sake? My life sucks.
3) You get the undivided attention of everybody.
“So where are you going now?”
I kinda need to poop..
“Watchu doin’?”
What do people do in bathrooms?
“Who were you talking to?”
Why would I even open my mouth in there????
WHYYY!!!!!!
Ahem..
4) Your siblings are usually freaked out by things you do.
My sister actually thinks Cyanide and Happiness is weird. I KNOW!!
Yes, it is rather difficult for people with a negative sense of humor to get, but it’s a lot less weird than say, REAL LIFE?? Ugh, Tweens! AMIRITE?
I cannot believe I typed that word.
5) You get a lot of
“AWW!! Look at that tiny thing! How can it possibly do anything? Let me help.”
I don’t need to be dropped to college.
I don’t need you telling me who texted me and what the text says.
I don’t need you calling up my school and classes and asking them if I’m doing well.
Seriously, I don’t know if everyone goes through this or whatever, but it’s freaking annoying!
Unless I don’t want to call my college.
Or unless I don’t want to drive to college.
Or unless I’m to bored to read my texts
… Maybe I might have something to do with this.. I’ll have to think about it.
And by think about it I mean type this out and wait till the thought disappears from my mind and I never think about it ever. 🙂
But yeah, really short list over. I can think about other points to add to this thing, but I just realized I have Maths and Graphics homework to do. If anyone tells anyone else that you get a lot of free time in engineering colleges, I will personally rip that person’s heart out and feed it to the other person. Whether they like it or not. Because I’m cool like that.
Freezing, aren’t I?
But if anyone doesn’t get what the hell I’m blabbering about, ask me.
If you guys think I’m missing an important point, tell me.
If you think I’m overreacting, fuck off.
humorworks 