So I have a couple of pets. Just putting that out there so you know I am completely biased. In case you wouldn’t have guessed.
As a pet owner, I go through a lot of shit. Literally and otherwise.
People around me don’t help, and they pretty much try to make my day as horrible as possibly possible just because I walk my dog daily. No joke. This isn’t funny to me.
I understand not liking animals (not really), and don’t judge people for it (meh…maybe a little bit) but it’s difficult. This is how most of my walks go
Me : walking, trying to not trip and keeping sure that my dog doesn’t poop in front of or near anyone’s house and doesn’t pee on cars that are parked nearly in the middle of the road no matter how much they deserve it.
My dog : walking reluctantly and checking for ways to pull me back home without me knowing what he doing (he is very subtle)
Us : not particularly paying attention to other people
When suddenly, a piercing wail rings through the quiet morning air, shattering the peace if the surroundings. People come to their windows to see what could have possibly happens to a human fir them to make such an agony filled shriek…
I should be a poet.
And some stupid 10 year old yelling her head off because my dog looked at her from half a dozen feet away. THIS HAPPENS. A lot. Very annoying if it happens a couple of times. Then you start to wonder what you’re doing wrong. Then you get pissed.
I don’t mind if the person yelling is a really small kid. Or even if you glare at us as we pass by. Maybe you just look like that. I’m not judging. But some things should stop. I mean, it happens every day! How can you possibly be scared of a dog you see every single day?
1) Screaming when we’re more than 5-6 feet away from you. My dog is too lazy to get up and eat from his bowl lying one foot away from him and chooses to crawl over instead. He’s not going to randomly decide to chase you down and rip your head off when you’re so far away. Trust me, if he becomes that active, I’ll be happy. But he mostly won’t.
2) Tell me my dog dirtiest the streets. Fuck you. I know dogs do this, and I hate it. When they have an option. My dog never does this. Because I have an option to take him someplace else. Some people who love in crowded areas don’t. Because they can’t. I know it’s disgusting, but maybe you people could arrange dog parks or at least places where owners could dispose of the poop.
3) Barks too much. Really? Most kids who play outside sound like they’re being brutally murdered and tortured. That goes on for hours. In the afternoon when you 80 year old people are sleeping. Barking is my dogs way of trying to join in. Just because he’s having fun when you cannot doesn’t mean you get to bitch about it. Grow up.
4) Smells. Okay, I got nothing. My dog stinks. Mostly all dogs do. Even humans stink on a slightly lower scale. And my house does have a particular doggy smell attached to it that people might feel disgusting. But then, it’s really nothing that I can help with. It just came with the package. But the thing is, most people I like don’t have a problem with it (or do I like people who don’t have a problem with it?) So it doesn’t bother me.
5) Hygiene. My house is us ally super clean because my mom’s a neat freak. And I do not mean to say freak in a light way at all. It gets scary. And very annoying. Ever tried to reason with anyone why the jeans you’ve worn for five minutes shouldn’t be washed and lost? No? I have. A lot of times. It’s impossible to win. So don’t give me the whole having a dog causes a house to suddenly ly become unhygienic. The intensity does drop, but most people aren’t disgusting enough to keep their house THAT dirty (right?).
6) I am too bored to think of 6th. If anyone has a dog (or any pet, really), they’ve probably been thorough enough to think of a 6th. If you hate animals, you can make a 100 points up I’m sure. Use your imagination.
Now I know it’s impossible to suddenly start liking animals for no reason. I get that. But if you could just completely ignore a pet owner when they walk by, and politely tell them to maybe clean up afterwards, trust me, they will appreciate it. Unless they’re assholes. In that case it’s better to ignore them. Assholes and pets make the worst combination.
You can quote me on that.
humorworks 