The time my train got blown up…almost

I think I’ve had my fair share of near death experiences for a while. I’ve written about one before, and a few days ago I was reminded of another one that I thought would be fun to force upon the internet.
This one had quite a few other people involved in it as well, a whole train full of them. It could’ve been a great place to meet people going through similar problems, but for some reason everyone there was really cranky. Could’ve been the heat, it was Mumbai after all. Maybe it was the fact that there was a bomb on the train? Or perhaps people were just in a bad mood because the vacations were almost over. Either way, people were not friendly.

A simple hello would’ve sufficed

So my family was just on its way home from Gujrat where we had gone for a trip and almost got killed by five wild lionesses on the loose ten metres from us, and we were tired and wanted to relax. The fates had something else in store for us.
The train from Mumbai was I think newish. It was painted a horrendous yellow and green color that screamed
“I WANT TO BLIND PEOPLE” whenever you saw it. Maybe it didn’t literally scream it, but you get my point right?

This is the best train I can manage…DON’T JUDGE ME!!!

Yeah so we got to our berths and I was already on the upper one, with my earphones on and ready to forget about the difficulties in life that a 15 year old faces on a daily basis. I usually start the music after the train starts, because then I have another excuse for ignoring people who talk to me. Trains are loud creatures and I use that weakness shamelessly. But the train refused to start. 5 minutes went by and then 10 and then 15 and I was getting really pissed because my mp3 player was running out of life. So I finally descended to the level of mortal beings and then waited with my family for what felt like eternity till the ticket guy told us that it was going to take even more time. And the people in the compartment next to us started whispering about bombs. That whispering continued for a while and soon enough, it was confirmed. There was a bomb threat. 

Now, 26/11 had happened only a year ago or so, and it was still pretty fresh in everyone’s head. So I don’t completely blame people for panicking, but it was funny nevertheless. To me. Other people weren’t amused in the least.
No one was allowed to get on the train, or get off it. There were police people on the platform looking extremely serious. Even I was starting to worry a bit. I had a dog at home. Who was going to take care of him? Who was going to force feed him food that other dogs kill for just because he wasn’t in the mood for it? Who was going to give him belly rub every five minutes? Who was he going to yell at when he got bored? It was a bit too much for my mind to handle, so I decided a nap would help.

I mean really, insensitive much?

We could here sniffer dogs barking in the distance. At that moment, my father went all
“Screw it, I’m going to sleep.” and he did.
That earned us some pretty shocked looks from the other passengers. And to make things better, my sister decided it would be cool to excitedly talk about the bombs and what it would be like if they found the bomb…, so that the passengers who were previously unaware of their impending death were now painfully made aware of that. That earned her a scolding from some random police guy nearby who declared that my sister singlehandedly was the reason that people all over the world panic. I couldn’t agree more, though in her defense, if the ticket collector hadn’t been talking about it in the first place, she wouldn’t have known at all.

Then as if all of that wasn’t enough, sniffer dogs entered the bogey and started, well, sniffing around. They were cute though, so I forgave them. After they’d left, some guys in the booth next to ours discovered a bag. An unclaimed bag with no owner and no tag. To top it off, it had been kept stashed in the corner, pretty much out of sight. Panic rose, the police came back and the owner of the bag had all his clothes thoroughly handled by a lot of people. This is actually why I don’t like bright colored undergarments. In cases like this one, it makes you look silly. You can’t go wrong with black and white. Yes this is a fashion blog now.

coming up next…should you wear pajamas all day long???

Unfortunately, the only interesting thing in that guy’s bag were his inners, so his stuff was stuffed back into the bag unceremoniously and  ignored.

After maybe 2-3 hours, it was declared that there was no bomb, and people were allowed to board or leave the train again. The owner of the mysterious colorful small clothes bag was given a lot of flak for leaving the train to get a cup of tea. I think he deserved it.

And some time after the train had left the station, my father woke up, groggily told us that he knew there was no bomb there all along, and went back to sleep. I was also pretty unaffected though, to be honest so I can’t make fun of him as much as I want to. And even though people had spent an entire night on the train, the next day they were in a horrible rush to get out as if the bomb was going to explode right after we hit the platform again. That’s not how it works. That’s not how any of this works.

But it was a pretty fun story to tell people at school. I might have bragged about it a bit. About almost getting blown up along with hundreds of other innocent people for really no reason. Not quite sure why I thought it was brag worthy…oh well, I was 15. Since my classmates were also 15, they didn’t believe me. Until they saw the news that day… yup. My train made headlines. I am a legit celebrity now.

So now if I ever see a movie about exploding trains, I can legitimately say that I have survived an almost bombed train. I still don’t know why I feel like this is something I should boast of. But I do. So this stays. Though it is uncomfortable having to wait for hours at a station because a group of people decided it would be fun to kill random strangers. Seriously, terrorism sucks.

Anyone else been in any exploding trains or buses or helicopters?

The many wonders of being the youngest in your family

This is not a rant. It’s a list of the pros and cons of being the youngest person in your family. Like I am. And I’m not the youngest in my little nuclear family thingy, I’m the youngest in my entire clan. Except for my niece who’s 2. But she doesn’t count because I’ve seen her twice and she’s a brat anyway. Onwards!!

(WordPress is telling me that “ONWARDS” is a wrong word and that is pissing me off. It’s one of the best words out there. Get your shit together WordPress!)

Okay, so, being a naturally positive person (a ray of sunshine, I tell you), I will start with the pros. NOT because this is going to be shorter than the cons and I want to get it over with. Okay then,

1) You get away with  a lot of things because for some reason people think you’re cute.

Kinda obvious, but doesn’t always work so I’m just putting it out there first and moving on.

2) You get a lot of stuff without asking.

It’s usually second hand, but we have an entire cons list to get to for that.

3) You get the undivided attention of your family because there is no squealing little bundle of poop joy there to take the attention away.

Not sure if it’s a pro, it wasn’t one for me, but I guess some people might like it.

4) Most of the weird stuff, your elders have probably prepared your parents for it.

It worked for me. Now I can sit in my living room and watch Game Of Thrones uncensored on my T.V. without anyone saying anything. Except for my dad coming in randomly and yelling that I was watching porn that one day….But we’ve sorted that out. 🙂

5) You get a bit more of the whole

“Aww!! Look at that little thing!! How can it ever do anything wrong?”

aura around you so you get away with blaming some things that you did on other people (I’m not talking about stuff you did on other people, but I don’t see a way to rephrase that sentence right now so it stays.).

My mom had a beautiful (apparently) center piece. Had. For nearly a day. It still exists, in a thousand pieces somewhere. My dog broke it. Seriously. Ask anyone. Except for my dog. He has a bad habit of lying about some things….anyway…

Enough talking about good things now…

CONS!!! I am more excited than I should be.

1) You can’t get away with a lot of stuff because your siblings know what shit you’re pulling on them. And are more than happy to rat you out. Assholes.

“No I didn’t skip school to hang out with friends. And that’s not beer breath!”

“I was asleep at 11 last night. My whatsapp’s glitchy about the last seen”

“Um… The internet history’s glitchy so it deletes itself every couple of days?? No? Wanna hear about a new website maybe?”

So stuff doesn’t work.

2) Most of your things are hand me downs that you didn’t really want in the first place.

My sister (Who, it looks like, will be featured a lot in this place), got a new phone. Good for her!! She didn’t like it, so she got a new one. I wanted a new one. Guess what, I got my sister’s old phone. It’s a good phone, but I don’t like it. Every time I complain about it, I get yelled at because apparently, getting a new phone for me will be a waste of money. I could chew through a concrete wall. 

Also, I got my sister’s old car. It’s in really good condition coz she loves that stupid thing to death, but she’s getting a bigger one. Who cares if I con’t drive for shit’s sake? My life sucks.

3) You get the undivided attention of everybody.

“So where are you going now?”

I kinda need to poop..

“Watchu doin’?”

What do people do in bathrooms?

“Who were you talking to?”

Why would I even open my mouth in there????

WHYYY!!!!!!

Ahem..

4) Your siblings are usually freaked out by things you do.

My sister actually thinks Cyanide and Happiness is weird. I KNOW!! 

Yes, it is rather difficult for people with a negative sense of humor to get, but it’s a lot less weird than say, REAL LIFE?? Ugh, Tweens! AMIRITE?

I cannot believe I typed that word.

5) You get a lot of

“AWW!! Look at that tiny thing! How can it possibly do anything? Let me help.”

I don’t need to be dropped to college.

I don’t need you telling me who texted me and what the text says.

I don’t need you calling up my school and classes and asking them if I’m doing well.

Seriously, I don’t know if everyone goes through this or whatever, but it’s freaking annoying!

Unless I don’t want to call my college.

Or unless I don’t want to drive to college.

Or unless I’m to bored to read my texts

… Maybe I might have something to do with this.. I’ll have to think about it.

And by think about it I mean type this out and wait till the thought disappears from my mind and I never think about it ever. 🙂

But yeah, really short list over. I can think about other points to add to this thing, but I just realized I have Maths and Graphics homework to do. If anyone tells anyone else that you get a lot of free time in engineering colleges, I will personally rip that person’s heart out and feed it to the other person. Whether they like it or not. Because I’m cool like that.

Freezing, aren’t I?

But if anyone doesn’t get what the hell I’m blabbering about, ask me.

If you guys think I’m missing an important point, tell me.

If you think I’m overreacting, fuck off.

First World Problems Problems

No it was not a typo. I meant to repeat the damned word. Because I’m going to whine about having first world problems.

I am not sure how many of you are familiar with memes. I’m gonna go ahead and assume most of you are. There’s the First World Problems meme.

This meme

It’s usually relatable (is that a word?) for me. I have lived my life in quite a bit of comfort. I’m not ashamed of that (I don’t understand why people say I should be). The biggest of my problems was that my sister insisted on dropping me to college in her air conditioned car so that I wouldn’t get myself to fall sick. That didn’t work. I fell sick anyway. I blame the internet.

Back to the topic at hand. The internet on first world problems. It acts like they don’t exist. As if we should all be happy at all times because we are better off than some other people.

It doesn’t work that way, Internet. Humanity will mostly aways, complain. That’s normal. Even animals do that. You bring in a stray, for two days it will act like you are god, on the third day it will start treating you as it’s slave. It’s animal nature.

Everytime I see people complain about, I dunno, getting cold water instead of hot water, there’s always some idiot in the comments going “Well, people in Africa don’t get water to drink. Be happy that you are privileged enough to have water at all.” And that’s a severly poilte person. Most people are more along the lines of “You fucking asshole. Have you any idea what people go through? It’s because of faggots like you that humanity isn’t evolving”

Yes. It’s very sad that some people in the world are less privilged than the others. I hate that. I am all for equality. But feeling bad about getting hot water isn’t going to help. Feeling bad about eating well everyday… how is that in anybody’s best interests? I mean seriously, I do not understand. I know that people abuse stuff that they have. Leaving water running, lights and fans switched on, is bad. Giving these people a guilt trip is completely fine. Yelling at a person for spending their money on stuff they want and not giving it all away to charity is, in my opinion (like it matters to people), not okay.

Chances are, that person’s worked hard for the money. They deserve to spend it the way they want. I don’t see people going aroung in tattered clothes because they gave all their money to charity (they might exist, I just havem’t seen them). People get so much flak these days for having stuff that it’s pitiful to watch. It’s not cool.

Maybe I don’t understand. But neither do others. First  World Problems are a thing. They exist. Just having a car and food doesn’t have to mean that every thing’s okay. Don’t diss problems just because they don’t have to do anything with life and death!

Actually, on the internet, even life and death problems are treated as a joke. Maybe I should stop reacting to stuff I read here, but it’s not always so easy. At least I’m polite.

And if you still want to, how about you  give up your internet connection for the under privileged? No? I thought not. That wouldn’t help a lot. There’s a ton of charities out there who need help. If you can’t or won’t give money, you could help out by helping them out with other stuff. It’s a great feeling, trust me. But telling people what to do (is a great feeling too, in all honesty), isn’t going to suddenly turn them into Nelson Mandela or something. Those people are rare, and were most probably not converted by a host of offensive comments on their posts (I could be wrong, please correct me).

Just saying, people have a right to express their problems, just as you have the right to voice your opinion about their problems, but don’t chase them off the internet. That’s just mean.

Also, the HD graphics on my laptop aren’t working. My life sucks.