9 Things People Do In Public That Make Me Automatically Hate Them Forever

So,studies happened. Not much, because I don’t study much, but they’re still there, and I actually studied and now I feel like I should do some major procrastination to cleanse myself of those sins. So here I am.

So WordPress shortcuts have been bothering me a bit. A teensy bit, but it’s still there. I have a bad habit of randomly touching keys on my keyboard, and it keep sending to random pages. No I don’t want to know the author bio, thank you WordPress. Yeah I know I should stop resting my hand on my keys while I think up a new post, but old habits die hard. So do male mantises. Forget I said that. Does anybody even get that joke? Anybody?

Does anyone ever come up with a really good joke and no one around them seems to get it? I mean, that happens to me all the time. I stopped joking about manga and games and internet, but people still don’t get them. I guess because most of them are sarcastic? I dunno. Wow. I know I ramble, but this is getting out of hand. On to the post now.

This is a list, because lists make my posts look bigger. And this list is about something I feel very strongly about. Something I wish to see changed in the world.

Notice the capslock there? That’s how strongly I feel about it. So without rambling any more, I will leave you to read my list. It’s not very long because I usually tend to exaggerate to myself the number of points I could write (Around 150 easily) and then look around like an idiot and post the half completed list.

1. Stare.

 

That could be flattering in some cases, but usually it’s just creepy. And they don’t even stare with interest or anything, they just stare for the sake of staring. It gets stranger when you are standing at a red light and the person next to you decides that you are an alien life form worthy of inspection. No thanks earthling. I’d rather cross the road unprobed.

2. Make a cluster of people in doorways

 

This is what annoyed me most in school. I already am uncomfortable with crowds, and those idiots always made a giant ass group in the classroom door and stood there talking to each other. Socialization is cool people, but not at the expense of other people’s comfort. And even when you tell them to move, they stare at you for a looong time before shuffling around like zombies. It doesn’t take so long to process one four letter word. Even if you are “special”.

3. Talk loudly

 

I don’t care if some sports team loses or if your relatives are jerks or if your boss is an asshole or if you weren’t feeling well.I know that must be very important to you, but if your voice is penetrating (hehe…) through my headphones, you need to pipe the fuck down. Because I’m pretty sure that if I take my headphones off anywhere in your vicinity, I will go deaf, and I’d like to have 5 more years till I do that.

4. Go into a freaking coma

This is only annoying if you’re in a queue behind a person. Your’re there, waiting for the line to move, and the person in front of you just stands there without moving. I get not moving in 5 seconds, but after 10, it severely damages my already paper thin patience. I will push you, ignore you cut in line in front of you, yell at you or burn you into a pile of ashes which I will then put at the end of the longest queue I can find. I am not remotely joking about this.

However, if I am not in a queue,I will ignore you. Don’t worry.

5. Suddenly stop while walking to text

What is wrong with you? You could stop slowly, you know. Or are you physically incapable of doing more than half a thing at a time? If so, get out. This is the 21st century and we don’t want non multitasking losers here. Or you know, just move to the side if you have to stop. If you don’t do that and if I bump into you and you glare at me, I will break your phone. I think that’s worse than a death threat these days.

6. Bump into me

Now I have never done a 5. NEVER. Or anything that might justify you bumping into me. I will not tolerate it. If it’s a crowded road and if you are in a hurry, that might be marginally understandable, but if there’s 10 feet of empty footpath surrounding me, prepare to die painfully. Or hear an exasperated sigh, if I have already killed a lot of people that day.

7. Appear out of no freaking where and hug me

I don’t care if you think we are BFF’s 5EVA…don’t I am usually in a trance when I am outside, and if you so much as touch me, I will karate chop you down on your face. I am dead serious, I was somewhere around the 30th best karate doing person in my class 5 years ago. My skills are still as sharp as any sharp object.

8. Squeal

Not synonymous to 3, really. It’s worse. If a person talks loudly, I assume that the person is

a. deaf or talking to a deaf person

b. A douche-bag

If a person squeals, however, they go into instant black books that I carry around for cases like this. My black book has over a hundred names by now. Don’t make me add yours, you won’t like the consequences…and I got tired thinking up creative threats,

9.  Stink

I don’t care if it’s body odor or deodorant odor. It’s all classified as stink and if it’s coming off you, I’m not even sorry to say that you will be avoided like the plague. Or Ebola. It’s usually not that hard to have a bath every day. If you cannot do so for whatever reason, don’t leave the house. If you have to, use a bearable amount of deodorant so that people around you don’t start getting headaches because of the smell.

So I’ve typed this three times because WordPress likes having fun by randomly deleting parts of posts people are working on apparently. No worries though. Not like I put in a lot of work or anything.

I would’ve liked to end at a nice 10, but my mind has different plans I guess. 9 is still a decent number, so I’m not too pissed.

Also, Fun Fact : When I started this blog thing a month or so ago, I actually made a hand written list of what I wanted my posts to be. I had over 50 topics. Guess how many have been written about? 2. Yup. I really live by the rules, don’t I. Anyway, since I am almost considering really nearly studying, I might not have enough strength in me to think about stuff to type, so I might use that list since in spite of being at the bottom of my bag for all these days, it hasn’t mutated into a living organism. So if my future posts are super boring, blame the list. If my past posts were super boring, blame the list, if this post is super boring, blame the people. For everything else, blame the internet. Always blame the internet.

P.S. When I saw forever, I mean until you give me good food or praise my dog. Unless I mean forever, in which case it’s forever.