The many wonders of being the youngest in your family

This is not a rant. It’s a list of the pros and cons of being the youngest person in your family. Like I am. And I’m not the youngest in my little nuclear family thingy, I’m the youngest in my entire clan. Except for my niece who’s 2. But she doesn’t count because I’ve seen her twice and she’s a brat anyway. Onwards!!

(WordPress is telling me that “ONWARDS” is a wrong word and that is pissing me off. It’s one of the best words out there. Get your shit together WordPress!)

Okay, so, being a naturally positive person (a ray of sunshine, I tell you), I will start with the pros. NOT because this is going to be shorter than the cons and I want to get it over with. Okay then,

1) You get away with  a lot of things because for some reason people think you’re cute.

Kinda obvious, but doesn’t always work so I’m just putting it out there first and moving on.

2) You get a lot of stuff without asking.

It’s usually second hand, but we have an entire cons list to get to for that.

3) You get the undivided attention of your family because there is no squealing little bundle of poop joy there to take the attention away.

Not sure if it’s a pro, it wasn’t one for me, but I guess some people might like it.

4) Most of the weird stuff, your elders have probably prepared your parents for it.

It worked for me. Now I can sit in my living room and watch Game Of Thrones uncensored on my T.V. without anyone saying anything. Except for my dad coming in randomly and yelling that I was watching porn that one day….But we’ve sorted that out. 🙂

5) You get a bit more of the whole

“Aww!! Look at that little thing!! How can it ever do anything wrong?”

aura around you so you get away with blaming some things that you did on other people (I’m not talking about stuff you did on other people, but I don’t see a way to rephrase that sentence right now so it stays.).

My mom had a beautiful (apparently) center piece. Had. For nearly a day. It still exists, in a thousand pieces somewhere. My dog broke it. Seriously. Ask anyone. Except for my dog. He has a bad habit of lying about some things….anyway…

Enough talking about good things now…

CONS!!! I am more excited than I should be.

1) You can’t get away with a lot of stuff because your siblings know what shit you’re pulling on them. And are more than happy to rat you out. Assholes.

“No I didn’t skip school to hang out with friends. And that’s not beer breath!”

“I was asleep at 11 last night. My whatsapp’s glitchy about the last seen”

“Um… The internet history’s glitchy so it deletes itself every couple of days?? No? Wanna hear about a new website maybe?”

So stuff doesn’t work.

2) Most of your things are hand me downs that you didn’t really want in the first place.

My sister (Who, it looks like, will be featured a lot in this place), got a new phone. Good for her!! She didn’t like it, so she got a new one. I wanted a new one. Guess what, I got my sister’s old phone. It’s a good phone, but I don’t like it. Every time I complain about it, I get yelled at because apparently, getting a new phone for me will be a waste of money. I could chew through a concrete wall. 

Also, I got my sister’s old car. It’s in really good condition coz she loves that stupid thing to death, but she’s getting a bigger one. Who cares if I con’t drive for shit’s sake? My life sucks.

3) You get the undivided attention of everybody.

“So where are you going now?”

I kinda need to poop..

“Watchu doin’?”

What do people do in bathrooms?

“Who were you talking to?”

Why would I even open my mouth in there????

WHYYY!!!!!!

Ahem..

4) Your siblings are usually freaked out by things you do.

My sister actually thinks Cyanide and Happiness is weird. I KNOW!! 

Yes, it is rather difficult for people with a negative sense of humor to get, but it’s a lot less weird than say, REAL LIFE?? Ugh, Tweens! AMIRITE?

I cannot believe I typed that word.

5) You get a lot of

“AWW!! Look at that tiny thing! How can it possibly do anything? Let me help.”

I don’t need to be dropped to college.

I don’t need you telling me who texted me and what the text says.

I don’t need you calling up my school and classes and asking them if I’m doing well.

Seriously, I don’t know if everyone goes through this or whatever, but it’s freaking annoying!

Unless I don’t want to call my college.

Or unless I don’t want to drive to college.

Or unless I’m to bored to read my texts

… Maybe I might have something to do with this.. I’ll have to think about it.

And by think about it I mean type this out and wait till the thought disappears from my mind and I never think about it ever. 🙂

But yeah, really short list over. I can think about other points to add to this thing, but I just realized I have Maths and Graphics homework to do. If anyone tells anyone else that you get a lot of free time in engineering colleges, I will personally rip that person’s heart out and feed it to the other person. Whether they like it or not. Because I’m cool like that.

Freezing, aren’t I?

But if anyone doesn’t get what the hell I’m blabbering about, ask me.

If you guys think I’m missing an important point, tell me.

If you think I’m overreacting, fuck off.

Groups that I don’t belong to.

I’m not a gamer. I’ve played a few video games, but not nearly enough to be called a hardcore gamer. And I don’t mind. I am a hardcore reader, and that takes up so much of my time that I don’t have time left over for basic things. Have you ever taken a book into a bath? It’s a bad decision. My 6 year old self didn’t know that. Moving on..

I really like video games. They’re fun. They give you a feeling of having accomplished something when the only thing you’ve done is sit in a corner and waste ten hours of your life that you could’ve done so much in. It’s addictive. And whenever I say anything good about video games, the first thing people say is

“So you’re a gamer, right?”

Not that there’s anything wrong with being a gamer obviously.

But being grouped into something you’re not isn’t nice. It takes to a part you wish you never knew existed. A need to look at yourself, to judge what you so and who you are arises. At least for me. Every time someone groups me in with something, I get a bit panicked.

“So DO I belong in that group? Am I worthy enough? Is this cheating? Is this soo very morally wrong?” It’s pretty dumb, but if I knew how to control my mind fully, I would be somewhere other than the Internet. Trust me.

Same thing happens with books. I’ve read a few books. New ones, old ones, classics, trashy ones..

A lot of them actually. And then someone comes over and goes..

“So have you read this particular book that I read?”

Me : No actually. I haven’t.

“I thought you read a lot of books. Huh.”

And that “huh” really gets to me. It makes me feel like a liar. It’s impossible to read all the books ever made, but I feel like I should do just that of I’m ever to honestly tell anyone that I’ve read a lot of books. Makes me feel like I don’t actually know all that much about books after all.

And then there’s music. I didn’t want to go here, but what do I have to lose?

I don’t have a particular favorite genre of music. I like rock, punk, metal, trance, and….drumroll…pop.

There I said it. I actually like a few pop songs. So sue me (haha..don’t actually sue me).

I don’t have a lot of info about any of these genres. I am not crazy about any genre either. I just listen to the songs I like. Songs I relate to. And it’s really nice, listening to a song and liking it no matter the genre or the artist or anything…I’ve seen so many people acting like they’ve been caught masturbating to shark porn (I know it’s out there somewhere) when I walked in on them listening to a couple of artists they claimed to hate and it was actually pitiful.

It’s the internet’s self proclaimed cool groups that make it impossible to be open about your likes and dislikes on what should have been a place for all types of people.

I’m getting seriously far away from the topic.

So, groups suck and I’ll do what I want to no matter what anyone online says. That’s all.