3 MONTH ANNIVERSARY!!! or PEOPLE HAVE ISSUES

So I was going to post this yesterday, which was actually the anniversary date-thing, but I forgot. I typed it out, and everything, and then logged in to WP and then just felt too lazy to copy-paste the whole thing here. I have no other excuse.

So today my blog complete 3 months of existence!!! I thought I should do something special for today, since I’ve completely ignored all other “birthdays” of this thing, but I suck at doing anything special, so I’m going to be pleased that I remembered this and move on.

Nope. But if you’re me, you should know that already.

People have issues (notice the amazingly smooth segue). Real issues.

Yesterday, I wanted an excuse to not be studying so I decided to take my dog out for a walk earlier than usual. By earlier, I mean it wasn’t completely dark outside so I could see what was going on around me quite clearly. Big mistake.

Just as I walked out the gate, I saw three people laughing so loudly that my big, brave dog decided they were planning to eat him and tried his best to run away from them. Or maybe he just needed to pee real bad and didn’t appreciate me taking my time to glare at the three random strangers who were actually within their rights to be laughing freely in a public space.

I finally conceded and followed him, and had gone no more than ten feet ahead when one of the three hyenas decided it would be hilarious to cycle extremely close to the footpath on which I was walking while ringing her bell constantly and laughing horribly loudly.

Ignoring her and trying my best to stop my dog from jumping on her cycle , I was walking ahead when suddenly, she overtook us, screamed while hysterically laughing, got down from her bicycle, picked it up, threw it back on the ground and ran back towards her “friends (?)”, still screaming and laughing. I wasn’t sure what to make of that. There was a bicycle lying there in the middle of the road, people were trying their best to not crush it beneath their cars, everybody was being inconvenienced by that stupid girl, and my dog was pulling at his leash because there was a hot female Labrador a few feet away from him staring at the scene as well.

I did my best to tell Mikey that inter-breed mating wouldn’t be allowed in my family, and he shouldn’t be able to want to do it since his “family jewels” have been mercilessly snipped off years ago because of my sister and her sadistic boyfriend, but he was in love and didn’t want to listen to me, so I decided to move and not have a law suit filed against my dog for indecent behavior by the snooty looking bitch (Get it? Because it was a female dog? I crack myself up).

An hour or so later, as I was returning (or being pulled by Mikey because he had apparently had enough of the walk already), the damned cycle was still fucking lying there, owner less. People were still honking and glaring at it as if it was suddenly going to turn into a sentient being and ride itself off the middle of the freaking road (Spoiler :It didn’t. Probably). I would’ve picked it up, really, but I was busy controlling my dog, so I couldn’t. Otherwise I would’ve totally done it. Yup.

But really, who does that? Who screams and throws things around in the middle of the road and leaves them there for hours? What is wrong with people?

Either her cycle got stolen later, or she finally got over whatever she was high on, because it wasn’t there after a couple of hours. I hope it got stolen though.

Now that I read this, I am thinking of never doing a “special” post again, I fail massively at it.

Driving at night with the headlights on

You know how we are taught to fear snakes at night and to not go out alone because of creeps around or how to stay away from rabid looking dogs? I have an addition to the list. Insects.

 

FEAR THE REAL KILLER

It is estimated that there are about 10,000,000,000,000,000,000 insects living today. That’s right, a Quintilian insects. It is said that about 53 people die each year because of an allergic reaction from being stung. I was also looking for the number of people that die because of poisonous insect bites, but Google is being surprisingly unhelpful right now. Let’s just assume the number is in millions.

Why the sudden interest in insects?

I just came back from class, and the language I was using wasn’t exactly something I would normally let people hear from me. I pride myself on usually not swearing, but seriously, some things are just poking you, waiting for you to burst. Like a person tapping their feet loudly for hours on end, or insects jumping down your shirt.

Firstly, it’s around 7 PM right now, so it’s evening and I know I shoud’ve expected to be thoroughly molested by insects the second I stepped out of the house, but I didn’t. I was hoping the “Do good and good things will happen to you” thing will work out, but it didn’t. That’s the last time I switch off the lights when I leave the room now. So I was unpleasantly surprised when a moth decided to sky dive right into my hair the moment I stepped out if the house. I let it find it’s way out of the jungle it found itself in and moved on.

On the way, there was a big bug (I don’t know which one, and I don’t care) who decided to nest on my face and didn’t move for at least 200 meters until I stopped driving and took it off. It seemed reluctant, and it broke my heart, but I knew I had to set it free. But that wasn’t the end of my buggy adventures

Two minutes more and a couple of insects decide they need privacy, so they hide themselves from the prying eyes of the big bad world…in my shirt. Not Cool. The worst thing was, I was at a petrol station and couldn’t even stick my hand down my shirt to drag the presumably happy couple out. I don’t even want to think of the things they did in there…:shudder:

So after my silly little moped (yes, I drive a two wheeler.I don’t drive a car because I am too lazy to learn to drive one. Also, if I did learn, how would I get to meet so many interesting people from the insect family?) was filled up. I decided to make a dash for the class I was already late to, killing a couple of suicidal butterflies along the way (what were they doing out at 6:30 anyway?). I reached and happy story, the class was cancelled.

After muttering a few choice curses under my breath, I was on my way back home. I already knew no one was going to believe my reason for coming home early and that had already pissed me off when out of no where, a stupid whale sized moth decided to collide against my fucking face. It was large enough to make me pull on my brakes like my dog pulls on his leash and stop to see if I’d killed it. I hadn’t. The fuck up made a car nearly bang into me at 500 kmph and it didn’t even have the decency to at least fly a little slowly. Nope. It was all like

“Haha..this was my revenge for you killing a couple of my brethren on your way here..haha…you nearly died!!”

Well here’s the thing, moth, your idiotic brethren were dumb enough to fly around in front of my vehicle like a couple of bollywood actors running around in the woods. But woods don’t have vehicles,so the actors don’t die (shame, really). But the moth wasn’t having any of that, and after it tried to suicide bomb itself onto my face a few more times, I decided to get the hell out of there. Also, the two insects were still doing the nasty down my shirt, so I wanted to get out of it as fast as possible.

And as I was going my way, angry, violated and on the verge of breaking down, another insect (no doubt an accomplice of giant-whale-sized-moth) decided to creep into my helmet (yes I wear a helmet. I ARR SAFTY GURL!!!) and crawl towards my ear.

Now anyone who’s ever been stuck in slow moving traffic will know how difficult it is to do anything else but drive in that situation. The traffic’s slow, so you will take longer than usual to get wherever you’re going, but it’s still freaking moving so you don’t have even half a free hand to do anything else. Now if you can put yourself in that situation, I’d like to add a few challenges.

Imagine there’s a couple of insects in your shirt, not the whole “I’ve got butterflies in my stomach” crap, real actual insects OVER your stomach, doing god knows what things to each other in there,

Imagine you can still feel a giant ass moth landing on your face.

Imagine the uncomfortableness of a helmet and

Imagine an insect crawling under said helmet into your ears, all at the same time.

You will weep.

I almost did, but some very nice guy told me to move my fat ass along and so I didn’t.

Obviously, the first thing I did when I finally parked outside my house was to remove my helmet and vigorously push that insect deeper inside my ear, probably making it easier for giant ass moth to monitor my movement through telepathic convos with ear canal insect. So when my helmet-less head entered the house almost two hours earlier than expected, people were not pleased. At all. Nice family, mine.

So yeah, that was my evening went. Wild, I know. What about you?