*some funny vague title*

Having exams is always a joy, since you realize that there’s so much in your life that you want to be doing other than sitting in a corner and studying for something uninteresting. But then the things you want to do end up being sitting in a corner playing games or reading stuff and you wonder if it’s really that different anyway.

It is. That was a rhetorical question.

But my exams are finally over (almost) and I am free (nearly) and everything is good with the world again (except for that what’s actually wrong). So I figured I could come online again without the guilt ripping me apart from limb to limb. Or the fear of my family finding out that I’ve been online when I should’ve been studying. I like the first one. Makes me sound all responsible and mature-like which is cool.

Anyway, I have already spoken about this before on this blog-thing, but walking with a dog isn’t really a lot of fun if you’re not all alone in a very large, flat area that you can see without having to jump up and down. And I mean alone. Because people do not like dogs. At all. And that’s okay. People always have species they don’t like, I mean, I would hate it if someone judged me on my hatred of some species that I hate but I don’t really hate any particular species. I am Snow White.

Close enough

But anyway, DOGS.

When I’m walking with that big black furry thing that poops and is called a dog, the last thing on my mind is making him attack people around me. Because I do not have the time to think about them because I am far too focused on not tripping over my own feet as he pulls me around trying to make me run and catch up to my sister. That’s one thing that is never happening. It’ll ruin my reputation of being a lazy-ass person. I like my reputation.

Then there’s the thing of not letting him “do” anything on the road and dragging him a few miles away to do his business so that it doesn’t get mixed in the stuff that stray dogs leave there.

Fun Fact : Stray dog poop does not smell and it is perfectly reasonable to feed them scraps and it is also perfectly reasonable to scrunch up your stupid nose while my dog walks by even though he’s had a bath only day before yesterday. Fucking people.

But anyway, with trying not to fall, trying to not let him pee in the middle of the road and trying to not let him bump into the hundred people that for some reason congregate in the middle of the freaking road while I walk by, I need to entertain myself. And I entertain myself by saying stupid shit because that’s the kind of person I am and I am mentally 5. Or maybe 6. I just had a birthday after all.

The place we walk Mikey sometimes has peacocks roaming around. It’s nice even though I am sure someone’s going to get attacked by a peacock for being stupid. I hope someone gets attacked by a peacock for being stupid. Peacocks are vicious creatures and they cannot be trusted.

This is totally what a peacock looks like

So anyway, I was mumbling to myself that if we (“WE” being the dog and myself since the rest of my family had abandoned me by then) saw a peacock, Mikey was free to attack it. I figured it was a harmless comment because

1. I was talking to myself. You do not take people who talk to themselves seriously. And don’t give me that “You were talking to your dog” BS. He doesn’t listen to a word I say.

2. Mikey doesn’t understand the word “attack” he understands “food”, “chew-stick”, “ball” and “stick” that’s about it. And while it would be too much to expect that random strangers would know this bit of unnecessary information, you can mostly tell by a dog’s face if he’s the attacking type. Mikey’s the cuddling type. He’s a lapdog/goat stuck in a big dog’s body.

3. Mikey has seen the peacocks before. I did try to get him excited like ” Look at that! What is that? Isn’t that exciting?!“He did not think it was exciting. He thought it was stupid that I was standing there trying to get him to look at something stupid instead of going home and sleeping.

My dog the big hunter.

But all of that must’ve been too much thinking for the people walking beside me because they glared at me and muttered stuff under their breath as I passed them. Nice people. Very friendly.

But yay for almost end of exams!!!! It’s almost nice, except that it’s not. .

Things old people get to do

I am nineteen years old now. That’s not really old, but I’m on my way there. I guess I ought to start doing old people stuff already like

1. Complain about this generation while being stuck to my electronic gadgets.
I do that already. I’m pretty good at it too.

2. Get a walking cane.
This, I actually want. I see no downsides to this apart from the fact that I won’t be able to take it with me on a roller coaster and poke people’s heads with it. But I shouldn’t be on a roller coaster at my age anyway.

3. Get my “smart-ass” comments all written down so that I have them at my disposal whenever I need them.
I am not going to be a cheerful, friendly old person in case you haven’t realized yet. I am going to be the cranky, stick waving, mumbling old person little kids are scared of. That’s my new dream.

4.  Become socially inappropriate.
Forget farting and belching in public. I am talking about the big guns like being able to make racially prejudiced comments and get away with them.
Americans are fat. Brazilians are hot (is that offensive?). Indians are cab drivers. Spanish people ride bulls all day long.
There. I said it. Back in my day, these were called facts.

5. Walk slowly in front of people and scowl at them when they get annoyed.
Can’t you see I’m a poor old lady who can’t go any faster without having a heart attack?  Young people these days have no respect.

6. Talk loudly.
My voice alternates between being “barely heard” to “ear splitting loud”. It’s a pain, but I think old me would be able to pull it off brilliantly.

6. Drive horribly.
I always do that anyway. It’s a gift.

7. Forget things a few seconds after I heard them.
Sure I’ll clean my cupboard.
Wait, when did I say that?

8. Forget that my abilities are limited and trying to do things well beyond my capacity.
Like making a ten point list. I’m not good at those. FML

But yeah. That’s my list. I already do a few of these things anyway, so I guess I was born to be old.
Also, WordPress changed the mobile app design. Why? If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Why should I have to get used to changes? It’s so unfair.
I’m just gonna go get my knitting needles now.

Kerala Trip PART 1…

So I made a post in the new year and then decided (mentally, since writing that down would’ve been too much of a commitment) to be more regular and not disappear off the face of WordPress for more than a few days at a time and then left for a week. Yay me.
Most times when I have done that, my reason has always been the same. Exams. It’s a pretty difficult to ignore reason, even though I try my best. Not this time though.
I am out on a family trip with, surprisingly, my family. Shocker, I know.
We’ve come to Kerala because college us for losers and who needs to submit assignments on time anyway?
It’s a pretty state, and even though the bright blue and orange and pink and purple and red and yellow coloured houses did surprise me at first, they definitely make this place very visually  interesting to be in. My eyeballs are a bit tired from flitting between colours every two seconds though. Ah, South India.
It is also a very hot place to be in. Back home I was wearing a sweater all day long, and now it’s difficult to leave the room for fear of melting into a puddle of cloth and flesh on the floor. Nobody is going to want to clean that up.
It’s a strange state. I haven’t been here long so I cannot say if this is the norm in this place, but in many places, the sate does not have defined shopping and residential places. I saw a Mercedes showroom flanked by a beautiful blue and orange house on one side and a big pit on the other. The bug pit had a house in it and no visible way of getting out. The people inside are probably long dead. RIP.
It’s a nice place, though. They’ve been very considerate in the capital and have kept the zoo, the art gallery and the museum in one enclosure so that people don’t have to roam around the city. They have also not kept a single place in said enclosure that sells water so that the people will be supremely confused as  whether to swear at the state or to praise it.
But what caught my eye the most was the trees. There’s a lot of trees here. And they’re 98% coconut trees. My brother would probably think he’s in orange heaven. It gets a little annoying when you look around and see only coconut trees around you with maybe a rubber one here and there that looks like it’s been kept there just to break the monotony.
But yeah. That’s my excuse for not being around. If you could call that an excuse. Or if to could call that being not around. It’s barely been a week.
And if there’s any mistakes in this post here, they were all intentional and ironic. Also, you try typing on a sucky phone using sucky cell phone internet with a horribly dead brain and not making mistakes. 
No, seriously, try it. It makes you appreciate your semi-functioning brain more than ever. 
I miss my computer.

2015 and the apocalypse is nearing

It’s 2015 already!!! One year closer to the apocalypse! Another new year of people vowing to do stuff they will give up on after two weeks! I really wanted to do a post yesterday, I mean, it seemed like everyone was making this “My Resolutions” post and I felt left out. Because I had no resolutions. I don’t want to change a thing! I should, but I don’t want to. To be honest, I’ve done most things I’ve really wanted to last year. I got a bit better at spelling, which is a huge deal since I used to mess up even “BUSINESS’ It should totally be spelled “BUISNESS”. It’s not pronounced “busy-ness” is it?

I also “went out” a bit, and realized I hate it. Not the people, the other people. Crowds just aren’t my thing I guess. Pity, since I live in the second most populous country in one of it’s big cities in one of it’s most densely populated areas. FML.

I also wake up early. Not because I want to or health reasons, but because I have a class and a sadistic teacher who suffers from insomnia and a severe case of being a psycho. He’s a good teacher though. So I guess that’s okay.

That’s all the changes I guess and two of them not voluntary. Yay!

Ahem. I just wanted a new year’s post. I regret nothing about this one. Yet.

Also, HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Or, as people have texted me, HNY!!! The level of affection in those 3 alphabets that have so obviously not been mass forwarded to everyone is too damn high!